It could only be “Florida Man”. Shoppers at a Publix on Highway A1A in Satellite Beach got more than BOGO deals last Sunday — they also got an accidental tour through what police say was one man’s personal revenge gallery.
According to investigators, 43-year-old Christopher John Stehman allegedly decided the best way to spend his weekend was by turning the family-friendly grocery store into a PG-13 (okay, maybe R-rated) scavenger hunt. The “artwork”? Nude photographs of a woman he once dated, printed postcard-style and left in some truly creative locations.
The photos were allegedly tucked into the child seats of shopping carts, left in the soda aisle, slipped into the men’s restroom, and even placed in an outdoor merchandise bin. It’s a bold move — especially considering the average Publix trip is more about picking up subs than accidentally explaining “the birds and the bees” to your kids mid-shopping.
The woman in the photos told police she shared them privately with Stehman during a past relationship and certainly hadn’t given him permission to display them like a grocery store endcap. She also mentioned there’d been a recent custody dispute — a detail that, according to her, might explain the sudden burst of… artistic inspiration.
Surveillance footage reportedly shows Stehman making two trips to the store that day. On his second visit, he allegedly tried to conceal his identity — which, in a small-town Publix, is kind of like trying to be incognito at your own family reunion. Cameras caught the Florida man holding an object “consistent with the recovered photos,” police said, though they didn’t get a direct shot of him placing the images.
Shoppers were stunned. “No way, are people just going crazy or what?” one customer told local media. Another reportedly just muttered something about needing “stronger coffee” and kept pushing their cart.
Stehman was arrested Friday and charged with sexual cyberharassment — Florida’s law against “revenge porn.” While the statute usually covers online postings, police noted that printed copies in public spots are still very much against the rules. He has since bonded out of jail ($2500.00 bond), possibly to spend some time reflecting on why “Publix gallery curator” is not a good career path.
Prosecutors say they’re especially concerned about the photos being left in child seats, which bumps this situation from “creepy” to “what in the world were you thinking?” in record time. If convicted, Stehman could face jail time, fines, and a lifetime of awkward conversations whenever anyone in Brevard County recognizes him in the checkout line.
For now, the Publix aisles are back to their normal mix of groceries, floral arrangements, and the occasional misplaced shopping cart — and the only thing customers have to worry about finding in the child seats are half-melted fruit snacks.
