Oh, China, you conniving, economic vampire, what have you done for us lately besides leeching our prosperity and cackling from your smog-choked throne? You’re not just flooding our markets with your dirt-cheap junk, fentanyl-laced death traps, and vapes so toxic they could double as chemical weapons—you’re orchestrating a full-scale assault on our economy while we twiddle our thumbs like spineless idiots. Your trade barriers on our goods are so blatant they might as well come with a middle finger emoji, yet here we are, drowning in your plastic garbage at every Walmart, Dollar Tree, and big-box cesspool. When’s the last time you saw our goods clogging up your stores in Shenzhen or Beijing? Oh, right—never. It’s a one-way con, and we’re the morons eating it up.
Let’s not kid ourselves: you’re not playing nice; you’re playing to win, and we’re the only thing standing between you and global domination. Your factories churn out goods so cheap they’re practically worthless, gutting our industries faster than you can say “Made in China.” American manufacturing? Dead. Local economies? Ghost towns. And then there’s your fentanyl pipeline, a grim reaper in chemical form, killing our people while you pocket the blood money and feign innocence. Those vapes? They’re not just trendy—they’re poison, slipping through our borders like the economic sabotage you’ve perfected. You’re not a trading partner; you’re a predator!
And what do we do? We act like sniveling cowards, clutching our knockoff iPhone cases and pretending you’re our buddy. Wake up, America: China’s not your friend. They’re power-hungry, and we’re the only obstacle in their path to world supremacy. So why are we acting like impotent losers, letting you dictate terms while you strangle our industries and laugh? Your markets are locked to our goods, but we’re still rolling out the welcome mat for your cargo ships, stuffed to the brim with the trinkets of your exploitation. It’s like handing a burglar the keys to our house and wondering why we’re broke.
Enough. It’s time to stop being China’s pathetic lapdog. President Trump is slapping tariffs on your predatory exports, rebuild our manufacturing and choking off your fentanyl and vape pipelines before they kill another soul. We can start buying American. There are no tariffs on American made products. So, China, what have you done for us lately? Jack squat, unless you count screwing us over. President Trump shouldn’t be the only one making America great again, we all need to make America great again,
